Always and Forever
by Amy494walker
Summary: Aaron's biggest fear at that moment was Spencer's fear of himself. HotchxReid angsty drabble. PG-13


**Title:** Always and Forever.

**Pairing:** HotchxReid.

**Rating:** PG-13

**Prompt:** (Slightly) Inspired by this fanart ( pagebreather. deviantart. com/art/In-the-Absence-of-Light-214992404 )? Like, maybe addressing Reid's fears of the future, or comforting after a nightmare of this theme?

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><p>To say Aaron was concerned would be a strong understatement. He was holding a sketchpad he'd been flipping through for some paper while on the phone. Needless to say the moment he'd reached the page he was currently on, he'd immediately hung up.<p>

Spencer had always been a talented artist, though he showed little interest in expressing it, beyond the job. This, however, was so detailed, so vivid that it had to have come from deep within his lover's psyche.

It was a self portrait, only in this his lover was strapped in a straightjacket with a horrifically tragic and empty look of despair on his face. It was clear that this was the manifestation of Spencer's fears regarding schizophrenia.

Probably the most heartbreaking aspect of the drawing were the stains on the paper. One seemed to be from a beer bottle meaning his lover had been drinking, something he rarely dared do and as far as Aaron had known, never did alone. And smaller round marks, they looked like drops.

Tears.

Aaron knew because he felt them teasing at the edge of his own eyes as he faced the reality of just how much fear the man he loved held for what he considered his inevitable future. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't tear his eyes from it even as it shredded his soul.

The hotel room door opening startled him from his thoughts and he wiped at his eyes. When he looked up he saw his lover looking not at him but at his notepad open in Aaron's lap.

Knowing he needed to say something but not having the faintest clue what to say, he shifted attention to another subject. Invasion of privacy.

"I'm sorry. I was looking for paper." Aaron explained, his voice shaky. Troubled when Spencer didn't react, still focused on the drawing, Aaron closed the book. Throwing it on the bed, he stood and walked over to the stunned man.

"Spencer?" He asked, keeping his voice low.

"I have nightmares." Spencer whispered, raising terrified eyes up to Aaron's face, "The drawing, it helps."

Frowning, Aaron stroked his hands over Spencer's long hair and asked quietly, "How?"

His lover's body trembled as he fought back tears and answered, "The dreams are ... terrifying"

Aaron was shocked, "And this isn't?"

"That's more realistic." Spencer said that as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. Aaron felt something inside him snap.

"This isn't realistic Spence. You know why?" When Spencer shook his head, Aaron stepped forward, pulling his partner close, "Because I'm never gonna let it happen. Even if the worst does come about, I'm never going to let you become this. I'm going to look after you. Always and forever. Do you understand me?" He felt the tears welling up in his eyes, threatening to fall, but he didn't care.

"I'm never letting you go, never." He swore.

For a moment, Spencer looked like he wanted to believe him, but his expression turned doubtful, "You don't know that. You don't know what it's like."

"I don't care." He said simply but with conviction, "I don't care what it takes. It's my job to protect you, to shield you from your fears. This," He said, leaning over and picking the book back up, "This, will never be reality, it will never be your life as long as I'm alive. I swear."

Spencer looked blankly at him for a moment before his face crumbled, and as Spencer let himself cry, so did Aaron. He moved closer and wrapped his lover in a tight embrace, never wanting to let him go.

"It doesn't matter what it takes, no matter how hard it is. I'll always look after you Spencer. Always. When it seem's like I can't anymore, I'll just keep holding on to you. I promise. I promise." He buried his face in Spencer's hair, repeating his promise over and over as the other man quietly sobbed on his shoulder, letting out all his fear.

Aaron would never, could never lose him. He'd hold on.

Always and forever.


End file.
